Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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