Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize