burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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