I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if only i could text you this smell
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
