we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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