i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
