i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
