MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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