girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
