talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
