i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
