I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
