you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i think i just lost a toe
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
