College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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