:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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