Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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