so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
