Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
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