He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
