My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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