I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
