I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
