I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
