from now on my penis is your penis
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
