It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
