How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
