he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
