No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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