I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
