first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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