Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
where are you?
Hypothermia
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
