I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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