dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
