the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
