Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Someone shit on the floor
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
