I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
