your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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