"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
