I want to stick my p in your. b.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
