You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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