dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
me + whiskey = a bad person
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
