I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she looked like the before picture.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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