just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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