i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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