this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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