I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
