considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
