i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
