Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
this is an emotional support booty call
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