if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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