Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
