you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
