we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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