Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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