shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
