Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
