yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
