I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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