but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
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She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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