My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
