she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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