So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
